The Stupidest Things Ever Said

My fellow astronauts...
Vice-President Dan Quayle, beginning a speech at an Apollo 11 anniversary celebration

Rembrandt is not to be compared in the painting of character with our extraordinarily gifted artist, Mr Rippingdale.
John Hunt, nineteenth-century art critic

Would the fans along the outfield please remove their clothes.
Tex Rikards, announcer at Ebbets Field, New York, after fans had used the top of the outfield fence for their coats.

If I entered into an agreement with that man, I would be sticking my head into a moose.
Samuel Goldwyn, attributed

A man could not be in two places at the same time unless he were a bird.
Sir Boyle Roche, eighteenth-century MP for Tralee

I think we're on the road to coming up with answers that I don't think any of us in total feel we have the answers to.
Kim Anderson, mayor of Naples, Florida

Gifts are positively corruptive ... [Free air fares] are harmless, or at least only potentially corruptive.
Lee Wilbur, staff aide on the House Appropriations Transportation sub-committee, explaining why it was all right for him to accept a free first-class return flight to Spain.

...hazards are one of the main causes of accidents.
Safety with Beef cattle, US Occupational Safety and Health Administration

[I want to] make sure everybody who has a job wants a job.
George Bush, during his first campaign for the presidency.

Things are more like they are now that they have ever been.
President Gerald Ford

Life its own self, as Dan Jenkins said. Life its own self. Figure that one out, Norm. But what it means is, I have a lot to learn from President Reagan.
George Bush at the beginning of his presidency, when asked whether he was getting advice from his predecessor

We offer the party as a big tent. How we do that within the platform, the preamble to the platform, or whatnot, that remains to be seen. But that message will have to be articulated with great clarity.
Vice-President Dan Quayle

Bruce Stutter has been around for a while and he's pretty old. He's 35 years old. That will give you some idea of how old he is.
Ron Fairly, San Francisco Giants broadcaster

My position on Vietnam is very simple. And I feel this way. I haven't spoken on it because I haven't felt there was any major contribution that I had to make at the time. I think that our concepts as a nation and that our actions have not kept pace with the changing conditions, and therefore our actions are not completely relevant today to the realities of the magnitude and the complexity of the problems that we face in this conflict.
Nelson Rockefeller, governor of New York, when asked in a press conference for his position on the Vietnam War. When a reporter followed up with a question asking what he meant, Rockefeller answered, 'Just what I said.'

Arnie [Arnold Palmer], usually a great putter, seems to be having trouble with his long putt. However he has no trouble dropping his shorts.
Golf broadcaster on the air during a tournament.

Mike Andrews's limits are limitless.
Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies' manager, about one of his players

We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report.
Louis Nel, former Deputy Minister of Information for South Africa

So Carol, you're a housewife and mother. And have you got any children?
Michael Barrymore

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese.
Charles de Gaulle

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